Hello everyone. It's been a while since I've updated my blog -- about a month and a half -- so here goes. For the most part my blog posts have been pretty good and upbeat, but this time I'm going to talk about a few serious issues I'm dealing with. Don't worry, I'm not regretting my decision, just somethings I'm going through. Remember, when I first started this blog, my goal was to be upfront and honest about what I'm going through with my readers/followers.
As many of you know, my decision to have weight loss surgery and to actually go through with the procedure was a long process. Growing up, I was always the little chubby kid that was running around and keeping up with my friends. For some of you who knew me as a child I dealt with some self-esteem issues. Around the age of 20 ... maybe 21 ... I had reached the point in my life where I accepted things. I accepted the fact that I was going to be a big guy for the rest of my life. For once I was happy with my life and where things were going. (Allow my to go off course for a second or two... I had the surgery for health reasons, type 2 diabetes. I didn't have the surgery to get skinny or be more appealing to others.) After I getting my surgery approved I just figured my life would only get better ... remember I was at a point to where I was happy with things. But, I'm dealing with an ugly demon ... one I WASN'T expecting to rear its ugly head. SELF-ESTEEM!
This may sound crazy, but now, to a certain point, I'm dealing with self-esteem issues again. I hear a lot of people tell me that I look great, nice and all that stuff, but I just don't see it. Most of the time, I put up a good front b/c I think that's what people expect, but it's tough. Remember, I had accepted the fact that I was going to be the "old" Maestro ... sorry Travis ... (my entire family and childhood friends call me Maestro) the big guy, more than likely single for ever. I made peace with that and was ready to live my life to the best of my ability. Now, when I pass by the mirror or see pictures of myself, I feel uncomfortable with what I see staring back at me (in the mirror) or the person posing in the picture. I don't see the handsome, good looking guy people say I am.
Is that crazy or what? I'm not exactly sure how to handle it. I didn't think it would be so hard to accept the "new" me. I guess it's just a part of the process. I'm sure things will get better.
I didn't write this post to get people to feel sorry for me, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.
That's it. To quote my good friend Sherry Williams. Good Night Friends & Neighbors.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
It's Been A While....
Before you all jump on me, I know it's been a while since I've updated my blog and I promise I will do a better job of updating it.
So much has happened since my last update. I will start with the recent stuff and try to work my way back (if my brain will go back that far).
I had my 3 month post-op visit last Thursday, before boarding a plane for the ATL (I'll get to that in a few), and everything is good. I have lost about 85 pounds. I know it's a lot. I was pretty overwhelmed when I got on the scale. The doctor wants me to do a video for his website. I'll send out the link once it's posted. While, I don't have a whole lot of loose skin, I do have flab under my arms. So, when I wave to people I'm sending them some extra love. LOL! Before going to my surgeon for a follow-up, I did go to my PCP, primary care physician, and he too gave me a clean bill of health. All of my blood work was good and in the normal range. I guess he didn't check to see if I was crazy, because that test would have been off the charts.
I am still having a hard time holding down certain foods. Which is to be expected. My doctor and several people who have become family have told me it's going to take a bit before I can hold some foods down. I'm also having trouble getting in my fluids. Yes, I know it's important, but not being able to eat/drink at the same time is what throws me off. So, that's something I have to work on.
As I mentioned earlier, I flew to ATL for the weekend. For the first time in a number of years, I didn't have to ask for a seat belt extender. Not only did I not need one, I was able to sit in the seat with a little, and I do mean little, wiggle room, put on the seat belt and pull the strap tight. YEAH!!!! I haven't been able to do that in a while. Another bonus, I bought some clothes, just a few things, and for the first time in a number of years, I was finally able to get into a size 46. However, I bought them on Wednesday and by Friday they were too big. Thankfully, I can get them taken in. As far as shirts go, I can get into a 2X and breath, but I just don't think it looks right so for right now, I'm sticking with a 3X shirt, but it too doesn't look right ... I guess I'm at the awkward stage people talk about.
I'm actually starting to noticed in pictures that I've lost a considerable about of weight. By the way, check out the pictures I took in ATL. I had a blast.
2010 is the year of The NEW ME! I have to give all credit and praise to GOD. Without HIM I would not be where I am today.
So much has happened since my last update. I will start with the recent stuff and try to work my way back (if my brain will go back that far).
I had my 3 month post-op visit last Thursday, before boarding a plane for the ATL (I'll get to that in a few), and everything is good. I have lost about 85 pounds. I know it's a lot. I was pretty overwhelmed when I got on the scale. The doctor wants me to do a video for his website. I'll send out the link once it's posted. While, I don't have a whole lot of loose skin, I do have flab under my arms. So, when I wave to people I'm sending them some extra love. LOL! Before going to my surgeon for a follow-up, I did go to my PCP, primary care physician, and he too gave me a clean bill of health. All of my blood work was good and in the normal range. I guess he didn't check to see if I was crazy, because that test would have been off the charts.
I am still having a hard time holding down certain foods. Which is to be expected. My doctor and several people who have become family have told me it's going to take a bit before I can hold some foods down. I'm also having trouble getting in my fluids. Yes, I know it's important, but not being able to eat/drink at the same time is what throws me off. So, that's something I have to work on.
As I mentioned earlier, I flew to ATL for the weekend. For the first time in a number of years, I didn't have to ask for a seat belt extender. Not only did I not need one, I was able to sit in the seat with a little, and I do mean little, wiggle room, put on the seat belt and pull the strap tight. YEAH!!!! I haven't been able to do that in a while. Another bonus, I bought some clothes, just a few things, and for the first time in a number of years, I was finally able to get into a size 46. However, I bought them on Wednesday and by Friday they were too big. Thankfully, I can get them taken in. As far as shirts go, I can get into a 2X and breath, but I just don't think it looks right so for right now, I'm sticking with a 3X shirt, but it too doesn't look right ... I guess I'm at the awkward stage people talk about.
I'm actually starting to noticed in pictures that I've lost a considerable about of weight. By the way, check out the pictures I took in ATL. I had a blast.
2010 is the year of The NEW ME! I have to give all credit and praise to GOD. Without HIM I would not be where I am today.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Eating Is Overrated
Yes, the title of this blog entry is "Eating is Overrated." Now, I can start eating food again. Most people would be excited about eating for the first time in eight (8) weeks ... yes eight (8) weeks, but let me tell you ... It is overrated.
I am at the point -- post surgery -- where I can start eating again. I have to admit, I was pretty excited about eating something for the first time on Sunday. It went down, but didn't want to stay. Eating has been pretty tough. I have moments when I'm really hungry, but when I eat a few bites of something I am super stuffed. The best way to describe the feeling is this: imagine how you'd feel after eating 2 big plates on Thanksgiving/Christmas afternoon. The first time you want to do is go to sleep. At least that's how it was for me prior to surgery. This morning I had a bowl of instant grits. One of the individual packets. I had about 2.5 teaspoons and was stuffed. For me being stuffed is a feeling of misery.
One thing I'm having trouble with right now is remembering not to drink 30 minutes before/after and during meals. That's tough. Most -- if not everyone -- does that. I have had a difficult time getting my fluids in. After eating something, I'll look up and 2 or 3 hours would have passed and I say to myself, "damn, I forgot to drink something."
I'm still very happy with me decision to have the surgery. If I knew then what I know not, I would not change me mind. I'd still go through with the surgery.
That's all folks....
I am at the point -- post surgery -- where I can start eating again. I have to admit, I was pretty excited about eating something for the first time on Sunday. It went down, but didn't want to stay. Eating has been pretty tough. I have moments when I'm really hungry, but when I eat a few bites of something I am super stuffed. The best way to describe the feeling is this: imagine how you'd feel after eating 2 big plates on Thanksgiving/Christmas afternoon. The first time you want to do is go to sleep. At least that's how it was for me prior to surgery. This morning I had a bowl of instant grits. One of the individual packets. I had about 2.5 teaspoons and was stuffed. For me being stuffed is a feeling of misery.
One thing I'm having trouble with right now is remembering not to drink 30 minutes before/after and during meals. That's tough. Most -- if not everyone -- does that. I have had a difficult time getting my fluids in. After eating something, I'll look up and 2 or 3 hours would have passed and I say to myself, "damn, I forgot to drink something."
I'm still very happy with me decision to have the surgery. If I knew then what I know not, I would not change me mind. I'd still go through with the surgery.
That's all folks....
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Another Milestone
I have reached another milestone while traveling on this weight loss road. Last night, Friday, March 26, 2010, I attended the Houston Association of Black Journalists gala. Roland S. Martin, he has a show on TV1, CNN commentator and is also on the Tom Joyner Morning Show, was the speaker.
About two weeks before the gala I started to worry about what I was going to wear. I was afraid to buy a new suit, because I would run the risk of having to get it altered twice because I'm steady losing weight. So, I looked in my closet to see what I could find. I looked at my favorite suit and thought to myself, "probably still too small, but maybe one day soon." Tried on a couple of other suits and they were huge. Didn't want to get them altered because I'd have to pay for a recut. If I did that, I might as well just buy a new suit. For some reason, my favorite suit was there and sticking out like a sore thumb. So, for giggles and grins I tried it on. HOLY CRAP! It fits. Not only that, I had to get the jacket and vest taken in. Now, there's a huge smile on my face.
Needless to say, I wore my favorite suit to last night's gala. Wearing it felt good and in turn I guess it made me feel good. One of my good friends -- who's been one of biggest supporters over the last 9 years -- you have an extra bounce in your step tonight. She went on to say, "This is the Travis I knew was inside of you, but I was just waiting for you to see him." Tears came to her eyes. I told her to stop crying, because I was not going to get emotional in this hotel lobby with a room full of people.
As always, thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for sending my words of encouragement and most importantly, thanks for your PRAYERS.
About two weeks before the gala I started to worry about what I was going to wear. I was afraid to buy a new suit, because I would run the risk of having to get it altered twice because I'm steady losing weight. So, I looked in my closet to see what I could find. I looked at my favorite suit and thought to myself, "probably still too small, but maybe one day soon." Tried on a couple of other suits and they were huge. Didn't want to get them altered because I'd have to pay for a recut. If I did that, I might as well just buy a new suit. For some reason, my favorite suit was there and sticking out like a sore thumb. So, for giggles and grins I tried it on. HOLY CRAP! It fits. Not only that, I had to get the jacket and vest taken in. Now, there's a huge smile on my face.
Needless to say, I wore my favorite suit to last night's gala. Wearing it felt good and in turn I guess it made me feel good. One of my good friends -- who's been one of biggest supporters over the last 9 years -- you have an extra bounce in your step tonight. She went on to say, "This is the Travis I knew was inside of you, but I was just waiting for you to see him." Tears came to her eyes. I told her to stop crying, because I was not going to get emotional in this hotel lobby with a room full of people.
I've attached two pictures from last night's gala so everyone can see my new milestone -- getting into my favorite suit.
Travis Sattiewhite & 39 News Anchor Mia Gradney
Travis Sattiewhite & 39 News Content Coordinator Morgahn Miller
As always, thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for sending my words of encouragement and most importantly, thanks for your PRAYERS.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
One month and a few days...
I have hit the one month post-surgery mark. I actually hit it back on March 17th. Instead of typing out the post, I'm uploading a video. Hopefully it will work.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Before And After
22 days ago I began the a new journey. 22 days ago I had weight loss surgery. Some people have wanted to see some pictures. So, here you go. The one on the left was taken the morning of the surgery. It was taken by my sister Wendy at her place. The picture on the right was taken tonight, Tuesday, March 9th, 2010. While, I still have a long way to go I just wanted to share a picture with everyone. Monday, March 8, 2010
New Milestone
So, I have now started Stage 3 of the food process. This stage consists of puree foods. Not the best, but something is better than nothing.
Here are some of the things I've been eating: Malt-O-Meal; Grits; sting cheese and yogurt -- not my favorite, the smell makes me sick. I've also been drinking my shakes.
The hard part is not drinking 30 minutes before/after eating. If I drink something during the window it comes right back up. Sorry to be gross, but it is what it is.
I have been working out, slowly, over the last few weeks. Thanks Dr. Scarborough for letting me do some sort of activity.
That's all folks.
Here are some of the things I've been eating: Malt-O-Meal; Grits; sting cheese and yogurt -- not my favorite, the smell makes me sick. I've also been drinking my shakes.
The hard part is not drinking 30 minutes before/after eating. If I drink something during the window it comes right back up. Sorry to be gross, but it is what it is.
I have been working out, slowly, over the last few weeks. Thanks Dr. Scarborough for letting me do some sort of activity.
That's all folks.
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